High Brow, Low Brow.... EGADS! Sparse brow!!!

    
    When Beauty Wonkette was just a wee wonkette, she feared almost nothing more than the dreaded unibrow.  Indeed, she lived for the day when she'd be allowed to tweeze and shape her eyebrows into the beautiful, graceful arch of her big sister.  But, alas, Mama Beauty Wonkette insisted she wait.  She could not wait for the day to come and, although wee, BW was a willful child. So, one day, she shaved her eyebrows.  OFF.  COMPLETELY.  Wee Beauty Wonkette looked like she had a disease.  So, Mama Beauty Wonkette did what any loving mother would do.  To protect her wee one from ridicule, she gave her bangs.  When Beauty Wonkette was just a wee wonkette, the only thing she hated more than the prospect of a unibrow were BANGS!  Ah well, it was a long time ago.  BW's brows did grow back eventually and the bangs grew out.  Mama BW eventually relented and Beauty Wonkette got the eyebrows she wanted. 

     Although Beauty Wonkette always took excellent care to groom her eyebrows, she really never gave them much thought.  Nor did she recognize how important they were to her overall look until they started to get kind of sparse looking.  You see, as hormone levels change or decline, such as during and after pregnancy or when we become perimenopausal, some of us notice that our once-full brows now look sparse; perhaps we can even see skin through them or lighter hairs are growing in. Loss of volume also could be the result of chronic overplucking, certain medications, poor nutrition, low iodine levels, hormonal imbalances, skin disorders, or a thyroid condition. But in many cases, volume loss is simply a part of the aging process.

     What to do?  There are some moderately effective home remedies that recommend using certain oils, such as castor or coconut oil. Both are reported to encourage hair regrowth if applied to the brow area before bed and left on overnight. Apparently, the vitamins penetrate the skin and stop protein loss. Beauty Wonkette hasn't tried either on her brows, but they definitely do work to thicken and condition lashes, so she's guessing they probably do some good. There are also plenty of OTC lash grown serums, which can also be used on brows.

     Ultimately, if these things don't work for you and you are out of ways to overcome Mother Nature's mean tricks, you can certainly fake it. It's amazing what a little well-placed brow makeup can do to improve the appearance and lift the eyes.  Beauty Wonkette has compiled some tips:

1. Choose a brow color that is 1-2 shades lighter than your hair.
2. Using a stiff eyebrow brush or clean spoolie, brush the hairs downward and find the arch.
3. Using a thin angle brush, lightly apply color to the arch with short, feathery strokes.
4. Brush brow hairs up and out and use the angle brush to fill in sparse areas only. Brow powder (which should be slightly stiff, even waxy) gives wispy brows definition; it's also a great choice for those seeking a more natural look. Pencil (or gel) provides a more dramatic look or is useful for anyone who is actually missing whole sections of the brow (this means YOU chronic overplucker!).
5. Very lightly use what's left on the brush to almost-imperceptibly extend the tail end.
6. Set in place with a clear mascara.

      Once done, you can forget about them for the rest of the day.  No touch-ups required!

The Professional Blow Job Has Met It's Match!

     The most time-consuming part of Beauty Wonkette's morning routine is drying and styling her hair. It used to take even longer than it does now, mainly because Beauty Wonkette's hair was longer. But, now that BW is all grown up and sporting an awesome long, layered bob, the fact is that she has a sh*tload of hair!!! Moroccan Oil and Wigo's Hot Air Brush have long been staples in BW's arsenal and she relies upon them both for frizz free gorgeous shiny locks. So, when BW's trusty Wigo croaked, she was utterly despondent. The Wigo isn't costly, but seems impossible to find. And, even though Beauty Wonkette keeps a spare in her office, it was clearly time to search for an alternative.

     Enter John Frieda's JFHA5 Hot Air Brush! This thing is nothing short of AWESOME!!! This styler is part blowdryer part round ceramic hairbrush and is probably on steroids. It can produce stunning waves or, if you prefer, straighten your waves, gives incredible shine, and does it all in record time. And, if you can believe it, it costs all of $39.99!!  Here are the spec's from John Frieda's own promo:

 Yet another extraordinary hair-styling tool from John Frieda Transform your hair with the NEW Hot Air Brush (JFHA5) from the experts at John Frieda. This premium Hot Air brush features advanced ionic power and gives volume and shine to your hair while it simultaneously dries each strand. Instant heat up makes drying fast and safe all while delivering high heat. It's convenient and easy to use. A premium 500-watt hot air hair brush that creates luscious styles of volume and shine with a 1-1/2-inch titanium ceramic-coated barrel. The tangle-free anti-static bristles work through your hair eliminating the moisture out of each individual strand.

 Advance Ionic Technology for healthy, smooth results 
 Designed with advanced ionic technology, generates up to 50% more ions, the JFHA5 allows you to achieve smooth, frizz-free hair that is shiny and more manageable. 

 A lightweight and comfortable design The JFHA5's lightweight, ergonomic design makes it easy to use from any angle. Whether you have long hair or a short cut, the JFHA5 is well-balanced for easy movement, and the contoured handle makes it comfortable to grip even for long periods of time.

     It is very rare for Beauty Wonkette to reprint what the maker of a product says, but in this case, it isn't just spin. A few more details. The picture doesn't really show this, but it has two types of bristles; one set has bristles that are longer and stiffer with rounded ends, add to that a second set of shorter, softer bristles. The brush head really grabs the hair and effortlessly guides it around the brush - no more slithering out of the brush head, and no more burned fingers from trying to guide hair around the brush. It never tangles the hair (which my beloved Wigo occasionally did do), releases easily, and you will never end up with fuzzy, frizzy, kinked ends from not having wrapped the hair around the brush properly before setting the curl. The high heat setting isn't too hot, so it won't burn your scalp or damage your hair (just don't forget the Moroccan Oil or a thermal protector of your own choice). And, yes, it has a cool setting that helps set your 'do.

     Beauty Wonkette's hair looks like her stylist blow dried it and whether she styles her hair with a wave or a curl or goes sleek and straight, the look lasts all day, even on the most humid days. Beauty Wonkette already bought an extra for her office and is buying another as a spare for travel and sticking in her gym bag. You can snag one at Amazon.com Don't worry if it shows as "out of stock" - they sell fast but Amazon replenishes the stock often.

Want beautiful eyes?

We all know those women who always sport that perfect cosmetic counter clerk eye shadow look. Beauty Wonkette has always kind of hated them. Yeah, yeah - we were all taught how to do it somewhere along the way: Light at the brow, darker in the edge and crease, and a sweep of color that coordinates with your outfit across the lid. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Well, what if you're more of the beauty school dropout type? The simple truth is that an awful lot of women have just never found it easy to replicate the technique. An equal number of women, and Beauty Wonkette is at the very top of THIS list, simply have very limited time, are almost always running late, and rarely have the time, even when dressing for a special night out, to mess around with 3 different shades of eye shadow.

Are you doomed to never do any better than a quick smudge of eyeshadow, a forgiving eyeliner you can smudge, and a hasty brush of mascara? Of course not! You could hit the lottery (or make a sex tape a la Kim Kardashian), become fabulously rich, and have your own personal makeup artist. Or, you could try Coloron Pro Instant Eyeshadow.

The product claims to provide single-use, hygienic hypoallergenic applicators that require no makeup skills, no brushes. Yeah right. An eyeshadow that is waterproof, crease-proof, and long-wearing that transfers to the eyelid with just a touch. Call Beauty Wonkette a cynic, but she had her doubts about both the ease of application and the quality of the shadow itself.

Well, Beauty Wonkette was wrong! In fact, Beauty Wonkette was very pleasantly surprised with this stuff.

ColorOn Eye Shadow Applicators are easy to press on and pull off, making you look like a makeup artist who knows exactly what to do with a four-color combo eye shadow compact. There is enough product on the applicator to use it more than twice if you want to, so if you need to fill in some areas or have an exceptionally high arch, there's plenty there to reapply. The eyeshadow is slightly creamy so the colors blend with each other very well, truly giving you an advanced makeup artist look at home.

The only problem in Beauty Wonkette's book is that some of the color combinations are seriously tacky - uhhhh zebra eyelids?! But hey, eye shadow delinquents can only be so picky, and there are enough color combinations that look really pretty and they run from subtle to bold.

A single oval applicator (they remind BW of those temporary tattoos...) is used for both eyes. A ten applicator kit is $20 and a twenty applicator kit is $30. There's a wide selection of color combos AND you can mix, match, and customize your kit. Also, each kit comes with setting powder and a brush to apply it.

Intrigued? WHAT are you waiting for? Head on over to www.coloronpro.com and check it out.

Bad News: There is whale vomit in your perfume!!!

But, the good news is that it won't be there much longer....

Beauty Wonkette explains: for a very, very long time whale vomit has been a key ingredient in many of the best-smelling, high-end perfumes. Certain fragrances by Chanel, Gucci and Givenchy all contain this vomit. WHAT?!?!?! she screams as she desperately searches for the whale vomit (puke, barf, ????) in the list of ingredients. You won't find it. At least, not by that moniker. You may, however, find that your favorite blend contains "ambergris." WHALE VOMIT. Ewwwww.


Ambergris is a waxy substance formed in the stomach of a sperm whale. It protects the lining of the stomach from sharp "foods," like seashells and large squids, and when indigestion hits, the whale vomits it up.

Even though it smells like crap, literally, when it's secreted, it turns into a sweet-smelling rock that washes up on the beach, slowly over time. Thanks to its new, sexy smell, it ends up in fragrances.

So, now that Beauty Wonkette has grossed you out, here's the good news: ambergris is expensive stuff. It's very rare to find it, making it a valuable commodity (roughly about $20 per gram). Needless to say, not all brands can afford such luxury, and now a new, natural product has become available.

"We've now discovered that a gene from balsam fir is much more efficient at producing such natural compounds, which could make production of this bio-product less expensive and more sustainable," Joerg Bohlmann, a professor at the University of British Columbia and lead scientist in the discovery, said in a statement.

"And which would you honestly prefer?" Dr. Bohlmann asked The New York Times. "Something from the bowels of a sperm whale, or an extract from a plant?"

Super Arch Support !

No no my beauties.... This isn't about your tootsies. It's about your eyebrows. Beauty Wonkette has long appreciated that properly shaped eyebrows can make a huge difference in the overall appearance of the face, and especially of the eyes.

Thanks to a new site, you can get celebrity worth brows at home. You do realize that this means that now, you and Rihanna will have something in common (and it won't be remarkably poor taste in dudes). She, along with TV stars, socialites, Saudi princesses (seriously) and beauty editors all flock to Sania Vucetaj of Sania's Brow Bar in New York for natural-looking, age-erasing arches. But you don't have to fly to Manhattan or spend movie star cash to get perfect brows. Sania recently launched an online Shaping Tool to help you create the best brows for your face, at home. And just as she does with her famous clients, Vucetaj reveals the right way to tweeze, trim and fill in brows. "Thicker, fuller brows make you look years younger," she says.

Recently, the gals over at Vital Juice sent their Everywhere editor in to Sania's place for a brow makeover. Now, you can watch the video to learn her secrets. Beauty Wonkette loved it and thinks you will too.