Showing posts from 2012

Oprah Gets it Right PLUS Super Discount :- )

Ok I'm NOT a big Oprah fan, but when the diva of daytime tv gets it right, she gets it right.  AND when she gets it right AND can get Beauty Wonkette half off....  Well Beauty Wonkette stands on her chair and yells GO OPRAH
 "This limited edition white lacquer box includes 12 gorgeous, toxin-free nail polishes. I picked the colors myself -- there's one for your every mood."

(Originally $168, now $84 with code OPRAH;

Gimme a (Very Sophisticated) Smooch ! Helmut Newton Does Red Lipstick...

Helmut Newton is known for his striking and sexy photographs of some of the most beautiful women in the world. So when model Jenny Shimizu and House of Exposure founder Periel Aschenbrand decided to create a powerful red lipstick inspired by the famed photographer, they knew who to call: Poppy King, the "Lipstick Queen." Helmut Red is King's interpretation of a cool blue-red that should match anyone's skin color, and the black bullet is packaged in a box meant to look like a vintage roll of Kodak film. Supplies are limited and with a guerrilla ad campaign set to hit the streets of downtown New York by July 9, you should bust a move and buy one now.

High pigment loadSuper rich moisturizing formulaSlight sheenDesigned to be flattering on all skin tonesSpecially designed box inspired by vintage Kodak film packagingLimited run – while supplies last
Helmut Red Limited Edition Lipstick, $25,House of Exposure.

When Strange is Beautiful and Laundry is So Much More......

Beauty Wonkette rarely polishes her fingernails, but her toes are ALWAYS painted prettily - even in the dead of winter when they're hidden under bulky socks and a pair of UGGS.  Recently, BW discovered gels, got her own LED lamp, and spends her idle time admiring her toes.  The gel polish always looks so absolutely flawless that BW has caved in a few times and even painted her fingernails.  She also was about to give her extensive collection of traditional nail polish away, believing she could never go back after experiencing the indestructible beauty of the paint-on shine of gel polish.  But, then she stumbled upon STRANGEBEAUTIFUL.....

     So much more than just the next-big-thing in nail varnish, STRANGEBEAUTIFUL combines brains and beauty with a wardrobe of polishes that could be mistaken for modern art! Fascinated by Josef Albers theories on color relationships, Jane Schub finds inspiration in the most unlikely yet obvious places; striving to capture the exact shade of …

What's all the BUZZ about? ORGASMS are good for your health :- o

Recently, Beauty Wonkette made a very interesting discovery.  Did you know that vibrators were developed to treat female hysteria?  Mmmm hmmmm.  Indeed they were!  But these days, they're improving the health, happiness and empowerment of women unafraid to go after The Big O.

     Before the Butterfly Kiss, the Xtreme Rabbit and Lelo’s $15,000, 24-karat gold vibrator, there was the “Manipulator,” a 19th century steam-powered tool developed, not for women, but for the male physicians whose hands and wrists had become fatigued from the pelvic massage therapy they were giving patients suffering from hysteria.

     That’s right: Vibrators were created to relieve men’s discomfort when they became pooped from too much lady-patient genital stimulation—a commonly practiced medical treatment back in the day. No, seriously.

     The new film "Hysteria," starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and Hugh Dancy, is set in the Victorian era and deals with this very issue. Dancy’s character, Dr…

Birds, Bees, and Botox

During a recent, brief business trip to Merry Old England, Beauty Wonkette became very familiar with what is apparently an age-old British maxim "If a royal has it, everyone wants it."  Beauty Wonkette wasn't exactly sure why.  Sure, she thinks Kate M is cute enough, but frankly, the Queen looks like one of the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz (no offense, Queenie).
     Anyway, after British beauty guru Deborah Mitchell revealed  that the Duchess of Cornwall (Camilla, the gal who replaced Princess Diana and kind of looks like a horse) had been using her bee venom anti-aging treatments, inquiries about the product exploded.  Today, bee venom masks have become the beauty treatment du jour.  In fact, demand for what is called the "organic face lift" has drawn Mitchell to China, where the Daily Mail reports she has signed a contract for approximately $164 million to offer the bee venom treatment and other Deborah Mitchell products in 2,500 Chinese s…

Bye Bye Mushy Muffin Top (AND good riddance to you)

Almost immediately after Beauty Wonkette and Mr. BW welcomed mini-beauty-wonkette into the world, BW embarked on a rigorous get-back-into-shape routine.  It wasn't hard, really.  The 30 or so lbs gained were pretty easily lost (you see, in addition to being a beauty wonkette, beauty wonkette is also an sort of an uber jock).  BUT, even after the pounds were gone and tone and definition returned to virtually every other muscle, when Beauty Wonkette got back into her favorite jeans, she detected a certain uhhhhhh MUSHINESS .......... EWWWWWWWWWW.  Ah ok - it wasn't all THAT bad, but BW just didn't want it there.  What to do, what to do, what to do???

     A tummy tuck?!?!  Ok, that was dismissed by BW's doc as absurd.  Liposuction?  Again, Dr. Yucky Face said it was a ridiculous proposal.  To be honest, BW was all that hot on either idea herself, but she wanted options.  So she started researching and decided the new Lipomassage by Endermologie might work. Nicole …

Even if you aren't an EDGY chica, you'll love Le Edge!

Beauty Wonkette confessed long ago that she was a total scrub slut.  Blushing.  Pffft!  Why the hell am I blushing.  Exfoliation is GOOD FOR YOU, right?  I mean, anyone who has visited a spa and has had any type of exfoliating, wrap or cellulite-reducing treatment has had their spa technician EXTOL the benefits of ridding the skin on your body of dead skin cells. Makes sense to Beauty Wonkette? In fact, she has her very own microdermabrasion machine as part of her (growing) too chest.  So, why not the oft-neglected skin on our bodies.

For a long time, experts were hawking dry brushing as the ultimate (and perhaps only) solution to cellulite.  Beauty Wonkette doesn't like dry brushing.  Either it kind of hurts OR the brush in question loses its stiffness quickly (minimizing their ability to effectively exfoliate).  Also, Beauty Wonkette thinks it's a tad gross.   Does a dry brush ever get completely clean with all of its tiny bristles? Seems like a great hiding place for…

Sexy NOT Sticky

Although Beauty Wonkettes everywhere SWEAR by MAC products, this Beauty Wonkette is not a MAC fan.  But, the moment someone started talking about a NON-STICKY LIPGLOSS, they had Beauty Wonkette's undivided attention.  And, as it turned out, this stuff is very worth of attention.  Looking for an easy fix to update your Spring/Summer look?  Get thee to the nearest MAC counter and pick up a tube of MAC Reel Sexy Cremesheen Lipglass ($20 and available in four shades).  Then, proceed to paint your pout to totally non-stickly perfection with this glassy pink finish.  Smooch!

Avah Goes to the Head of the Class

How did it come to be that Beauty Wonkette would be attending THIS many graduations?  Hmmmm.  It does have it's upside (listening to high school chorus' do the whole GLEE thing NOT).  That being that it brings BW to the Big Apple for stuff other than work and THAT means lots of time to roam around Barneys New York, Soho, and, more recently, Brooklyn.  My oh my, the things Beauty Wonkette has discovered that she simply must have.  Read on....  Soon you will have to have this too!

     BW relishes the sensation of post-salon tresses, not only for our newly styled ‘do, but because of the heavenly-fresh scent locked in our strands that seems to last for days and days. Well, my lovelies, the time has come to keep those “oh-god-your-hair-smells-amazing” compliments coming with Serge Normant’s new perfume, Avah, formulated specifically for your locks!

     Beauty Wonkette does not do the dry shampoo thing.  Not that we have anything against the concept; we just haven't …

C'mon baby, let's do the twist !!!

Errrrrp 'scuse me!  (Beauty Wonkette was dancin'....)

     Now that the warm weather is here, Beauty Wonkette was suddenly faced with something of a crisis.  Remember when BW told you all that she was sporting a long, layered bob and loving it?  Well, she still is, BUT when we enter the realm of those hazy, hot, humid days, Beauty Wonkette was always able to very easily twist, twirl, braid, wrap her uber long locks into any number of different updo's.  Sometimes the look was very polished.  Sometimes it was planned to be a little messy (which can be very secksy).  But Beauty Wonkette was so well practiced she didn't even need a mirror.

     Sigh.  Hazy, hot, and humid is coming and BW has found that it is no longer quite as easy as it was.  Time to find more updo's for more medium length hair!  Here's a good one for ya...

TOOLS: bobby pins, accessory, hairspray.
Prep: You’ll want the hair to have some texture before you pin it up. If you have curly hair,…

Got milk? Make room in your fridge for DAIRYFACE!

Dairyface is probably the only skin-care line that’s ever been mistaken for a tiramisu ingredient. That’s because you’ll find it stocked in a fridge, within arm’s reach of formaggi and gelato at Mario Batali’s mega-emporium, Eataly.

     The purveyor of all-things-Italian is expanding its culinary offerings to include cosmetic ones. And that includes Dairyface, a brand that may be teased for its name, but loved for its simplicity and fondness for natural ingredients. A lot like Batali’s Meatless Mondays.

     Oksana Panasenko, originally from Turkmenistan, based her four treatment products (she calls them “refreshers”) and an eye cream on the traditionally simple yogurt mask. But by consulting with a “world-class dairy microbiologist,” as well as herbalists and cosmetic chemists, her live skin-care line blends inresults—while passing on preservatives. “Fresh food is the future, and that’s also true for skin care and the beauty industry,” says Panasenko, who launched the b…

High Brow, Low Brow.... EGADS! Sparse brow!!!

When Beauty Wonkette was just a wee wonkette, she feared almost nothing more than the dreaded unibrow.  Indeed, she lived for the day when she'd be allowed to tweeze and shape her eyebrows into the beautiful, graceful arch of her big sister.  But, alas, Mama Beauty Wonkette insisted she wait.  She could not wait for the day to come and, although wee, BW was a willful child. So, one day, she shaved her eyebrows.  OFF.  COMPLETELY.  Wee Beauty Wonkette looked like she had a disease.  So, Mama Beauty Wonkette did what any loving mother would do.  To protect her wee one from ridicule, she gave her bangs.  When Beauty Wonkette was just a wee wonkette, the only thing she hated more than the prospect of a unibrow were BANGS!  Ah well, it was a long time ago.  BW's brows did grow back eventually and the bangs grew out.  Mama BW eventually relented and Beauty Wonkette got the eyebrows she wanted. 

     Although Beauty Wonkette always took excellent care to groom her eyebrows, she …