Showing posts from February, 2011

Get ready for Spring by getting a leg up

Once upon a time, there was a damsel in distress. "My thighs are too dimply," she cried into a mirror. "I would do anything to get rid of my cellulite!" No amount of exercise seemed to help.

Then, one day, her fairy godmother (aka Beauty Wonkette) arrived with a pair of magic pants. "Wear these Farmacell Milk Shorts to bed for at least two weeks," Fairy Godmother Beauty Wonkette said. "The fabric is made from milk proteins, and they're designed to moisturize your skin and smooth the appearance of cellulite while you sleep. And yes, they are supposed to be snug--compression helps trim your thighs."

The damsel was skeptical, but after just five days of testing, she was hooked. (She's still wearing them a month later.) "I noticed firmer, thinner thighs and a more toned butt," she gushed to her fairy godmother. "There's more space than usual between my thighs. They feel like bike shorts and I had no problem sleeping in …

Stressed? Depressed? PMS? Overindulged? Moody?

Chances are that whatever it is that ails you, 21 Drops has an aromatherapy blend to soothe you. After extensive surveys and questionnaires, this company's founders identified 21 everyday woes that seem to plague every one of us at one time or another and came up with an aromatherapy blend to address them.

Beauty Wonkette loves the bright, rubbery, hi-tech packaging that houses each precise concoction of plant extracts AND you can tuck them neatly into even the slimmest makeup bag so you'll have 'em when you need 'em. Lucky Magazine called them LIFE CHANGING! Beauty Wonkette isn't prepared to go that far, BUT she does have a few favorites among the 21:

13 Carry On - Blended from rose flower oil, helichrysum flower oil, sandalwood wood oil, lavender flower oil and frankincense resin oil to help manage loss, ease sorrow and soothe the heart. The oils in this blend help settle the effect of emotional trauma on the nervous system. It’s intended to support th…

It's a TRAP !!!

Eeeeeeek! It's a trap! A spin trap that is. Which is a good trap. Or so I'm told.....

It's all about free radicals. Huh? Unless you're an aging baby boomer who, thanks to Timothy Leary, has been left with synapses that don't quite fire like they should, you do KNOW that free radicals are not hairy people who stick flowers in guns when said guns are pointed at them. Fast forward to 2011 and anyone who has ever slapped moisturizer on their mug knows allllll about free radicals. Free radicals = B A D. Very bad.

Free radicals contribute to skin aging as unstable molecules that damage everything from cell walls to DNA. The good news is that now you can fight free radical damage anywhere you need it. With THIS:

YOUR BEST FACE Skincare (which is a very cool indy skincare line) has put out Antioxidants Concentrate, a new lightweight (VERY concentrated) skincare serum that helps you bring together powerful anti-aging antioxidants with fresh items at ho…

I'll never complain about stress again!!!

Okay, that's a lie. I will. Complain. About stress, enlarged pores, bad hair days, carbohydrate overload, stupid people, crappy skincare products, my boss, Congress, the President.... BUT, after being forced to do NOTHING for a week, and then being on limited duty for two more weeks, your prima Beauty Wonkette is currently craving STRESS! The stress of my "real" job, the stress of my (new, but still a pain in the ass) inlaws, the stress of my crazy family (nah, they're not new), the stress of standing on line behind an idiot at the (fill in your favorite blank)bank, supermarket, Department of Motor Vehicles... ALL of it - ANY OF IT ! BEAUTY WONKETTE WANTS IT ! BRING IT ON BAYY BEEE !

Whew. I'm so glad I got THAT out of my system! If Beauty Wonkette sounds crazy (crazier?), she has good reason. A few weeks back, Beauty Wonkette joined countless other victims of this Winter From Hell (but with snow and ice) and went FLYING across a patch of ice…