Get ready for Spring by getting a leg up

Once upon a time, there was a damsel in distress. "My thighs are too dimply," she cried into a mirror. "I would do anything to get rid of my cellulite!" No amount of exercise seemed to help.

Then, one day, her fairy godmother (aka Beauty Wonkette) arrived with a pair of magic pants. "Wear these Farmacell Milk Shorts to bed for at least two weeks," Fairy Godmother Beauty Wonkette said. "The fabric is made from milk proteins, and they're designed to moisturize your skin and smooth the appearance of cellulite while you sleep. And yes, they are supposed to be snug--compression helps trim your thighs."

The damsel was skeptical, but after just five days of testing, she was hooked. (She's still wearing them a month later.) "I noticed firmer, thinner thighs and a more toned butt," she gushed to her fairy godmother. "There's more space than usual between my thighs. They feel like bike shorts and I had no problem sleeping in them. I even wear them during the day, as shapewear under dresses and skirts." The shorts were so powerful, she purchased 3 pair so she would have them always.

They aren't cheap, but then dreams ever are. Still. Snag yourself a pair and live happily ever after. Find them here.

The end


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