Gimme a (Very Sophisticated) Smooch ! Helmut Newton Does Red Lipstick...

Helmut Newton is known for his striking and sexy photographs of some of the most beautiful women in the world. So when model Jenny Shimizu and House of Exposure founder Periel Aschenbrand decided to create a powerful red lipstick inspired by the famed photographer, they knew who to call: Poppy King, the "Lipstick Queen." Helmut Red is King's interpretation of a cool blue-red that should match anyone's skin color, and the black bullet is packaged in a box meant to look like a vintage roll of Kodak film. Supplies are limited and with a guerrilla ad campaign set to hit the streets of downtown New York by July 9, you should bust a move and buy one now.

• High pigment load
• Super rich moisturizing formula
• Slight sheen
• Designed to be flattering on all skin tones
• Specially designed box inspired by vintage Kodak film packaging
• Limited run – while supplies last

Helmut Red Limited Edition Lipstick, $25, House of Exposure.

When Strange is Beautiful and Laundry is So Much More......

     Beauty Wonkette rarely polishes her fingernails, but her toes are ALWAYS painted prettily - even in the dead of winter when they're hidden under bulky socks and a pair of UGGS.  Recently, BW discovered gels, got her own LED lamp, and spends her idle time admiring her toes.  The gel polish always looks so absolutely flawless that BW has caved in a few times and even painted her fingernails.  She also was about to give her extensive collection of traditional nail polish away, believing she could never go back after experiencing the indestructible beauty of the paint-on shine of gel polish.  But, then she stumbled upon STRANGEBEAUTIFUL.....

     So much more than just the next-big-thing in nail varnish, STRANGEBEAUTIFUL combines brains and beauty with a wardrobe of polishes that could be mistaken for modern art! Fascinated by Josef Albers theories on color relationships, Jane Schub finds inspiration in the most unlikely yet obvious places; striving to capture the exact shade of a boiled lobster - or a poorly washed white t-shirt - in a bottle of highly pigmented, 3-Free nail lacquer that's guaranteed to get your nails noticed.

     STRANGEBEAUTIFUL stunningly provocative but wearable colors blend the best elements of beauty, science, and design. Every polish has been developed and evaluated with an artist’s eye producing hues that are deeply and richly saturated throughout. The elegant, efficient packaging has been designed with the customer in mind. Six steel ball bearings ensure that each intensely pigmented saturated color of STRANGEBEAUTIFUL nail polish is evenly dispersed throughout and consistently creamy. A 220 strand brush guarantees an effortless, even application every time.

     The colors are deliberately nameless, available only in volumes distinguished by whatever it was that inspired them.

VOLUME 1

Josef Albers Color Theory, A Mid Century Modern Knoll Fabric, Oscar Wilde, the exuberant paint colors used to decorate the walls of the Federalist period, a color of an Andy Warhol painting at the Dia Museum, the color Puce which I remember mixing when oil painting as a child, a green - winged teal, the dark inky blue of a never ending deep lake at night and the fear of swimming in it, and of course the red Valentine typewriter.

VOLUME 2

An interesting color palette of camo called Tan and Water Camo used by an elite German anti- terrorist unit. The slate blue color of a uniform in an 1846 N.Currier print “The Death of the Gallant Major Ringgold).Violette (Pansy Violet) ink from the venerable French ink company J. Herbin founded in 1670, the dull red color of a lobster shell immediately after it has been removed from boiling water.

VOLUME 3

The veins of green mold running through Roquefort, the artist Sean Scully, the rich black olive green color of Loden cloth, aged Armagnac, the dull brown red of Red Rope files, the saturated rusty iron color of an Irish bog caused by the reaction between tannin, wood and iron, Raymond Loewy, the belly of a pigeon, and the dreadfully wonderful dirty almond color used on kitchen appliances.

But, the latest volume, the one that moved Beauty Wonkette to tears (ok, I'm exaggerating, but it IS gorgeous!), is the volume called INEPT LAUNDRESS.  We've all made the error of including a rogue sock with our white wash - only to unload a tub-full of blue-white blouses and bedlinen. STRANGEBEAUTIFUL creator Jane Schub is a self-confessed failure when it comes to laundering, and her inability to keep whites white was the unlikely inspiration behind the gorgeous 'Inept Laundress' volume. A spectrum of off-white hues, the library of ten shades is as stunning to look at as to wear, and the perfect nail polish edit with which to nail 2012.  Take a look:

Gorgeous, right?  You really have to see it on to fully appreciate it.  

N.B.  Directions for use:

This nail varnish is extremely long wearing, in most cases only one coat or application will be sufficient. Make sure your nails are cleaned with soap and water or a cotton bud dipped in Nail Polish Remover. Then paint on a coat of the brilliant Seche Vite TopCoat when the polish is still a little tacky to create super lasting, vibrant colour. Shake before use and avoid naked flames until dry.


It's definitely worth taking a look at the STRANGEBEAUTIFUL website.  As for the volumes of nail laquer, if you're in the U.S., you can find them here:


BERGDORF GOODMAN
754 FIFTH AVENUE
NEW YORK,NY 10019
212 753 7300
www.bergdorfgoodman.com

HIRSHLEIFER’S
2080 NORTHERN BLVD
MANHASSET NY 11030-3545
516 627 3566
www.hirshleifers.com

PULP INC / PULP LAB
1912 NW DOCK PLACE
SEATTLE, WA 98107
www.pulplab.com
LUCKY SCENT
8327 BEVERLY BLVD
LOS ANGELES CA 90048
323 782 8300
www.luckyscent.com

NEIMAN MARCUS
www.neimanmarcus.com

What's all the BUZZ about? ORGASMS are good for your health :- o

     Recently, Beauty Wonkette made a very interesting discovery.  Did you know that vibrators were developed to treat female hysteria?  Mmmm hmmmm.  Indeed they were!  But these days, they're improving the health, happiness and empowerment of women unafraid to go after The Big O.


     Before the Butterfly Kiss, the Xtreme Rabbit and Lelo’s $15,000, 24-karat gold vibrator, there was the “Manipulator,” a 19th century steam-powered tool developed, not for women, but for the male physicians whose hands and wrists had become fatigued from the pelvic massage therapy they were giving patients suffering from hysteria.

     That’s right: Vibrators were created to relieve men’s discomfort when they became pooped from too much lady-patient genital stimulation—a commonly practiced medical treatment back in the day. No, seriously.

     The new film "Hysteria," starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and Hugh Dancy, is set in the Victorian era and deals with this very issue. Dancy’s character, Dr. Granville, develops carpal tunnel from all the manual labor and thus creates a solution—the vibrator.  Bzzzzzzzzz

      ‘Hysteria’ is no longer a recognized illness of course, but masturbation is still a well-practiced tension-tamer. Today, over 90 percent of women report that they masturbate regularly (nice, ladies!), and there’s a huge industry devoted to the creation of ever more pleasurable devices to bring about the Big O. That’s a good thing, because half of Americans (both women and men) say they’ve used a vibrator. Studies show that more women achieve orgasm with the help of a vibrator. So go ahead, this may be the one shopping spree your significant other won’t complain about.

Sex Does A Body Good

     The benefits of vibrators aren’t all fun and frills though. Masturbation can actually help improve your health as self-love increases the incidence of “friendly” bacteria in the vagina and allows for increased fluid movement, which flushes out the yucky stuff such as UTI-causing bacteria.

     Frequent orgasms—with a partner or without—can also improve cardiovascular health and lower your risk of type-2 diabetes. And if you suffer from insomnia, as over 60 percent of women do, masturbation is a natural sleep aid, helping relieve tension and releasing dopamine, a hormone that spikes in anticipation of a sexual climax. Post-orgasm, calming oxytocin and endorphins are released for a gentle afterglow and peaceful sleep. Um, awesome.

     Need more reason to touch yourself? Science also shows that masturbation can improve a blue mood, relieve the pain of menstrual cramps, PMS symptoms, and improve your sex life by helping you recognize what your body responds to.

    And that rush of blood that accompanies your climax? That’s your beauty bonus that leaves you with flushed cheeks and an (ahem) healthy glow.  (Ah, the understanding of which made Francois Nars RICH!)

     the end :-)

Birds, Bees, and Botox

     During a recent, brief business trip to Merry Old England, Beauty Wonkette became very familiar with what is apparently an age-old British maxim "If a royal has it, everyone wants it."  Beauty Wonkette wasn't exactly sure why.  Sure, she thinks Kate M is cute enough, but frankly, the Queen looks like one of the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz (no offense, Queenie).

     Anyway, after British beauty guru Deborah Mitchell revealed  that the Duchess of Cornwall (Camilla, the gal who replaced Princess Diana and kind of looks like a horse) had been using her bee venom anti-aging treatments, inquiries about the product exploded.  Today, bee venom masks have become the beauty treatment du jour.  In fact, demand for what is called the "organic face lift" has drawn Mitchell to China, where the Daily Mail reports she has signed a contract for approximately $164 million to offer the bee venom treatment and other Deborah Mitchell products in 2,500 Chinese stores and salons. 

     According to the Heaven by Deborah Mitchell website, the beauty treatment, cited as "nature's alternative to Botox," uses the paralyzing power of bee venom to lift, tighten and firm the face muscles and reduce wrinkles.  You can also buy a 15 ml. pot of bee venom mask to use at home for $31.84.

     Now, for the $64 million question:  does it really work? A look at the website of the American Apitherapy Society, an organization devoted to bee venom therapy research and education, shows that apitoxin (bee venom's less sexy name) does have a strong anti-inflammatory property that helps rheumatoid arthritis, tendonitis and gout, among other ailments.  However,  there is no mention of apitoxin's anti-aging properties.  Then again, all one needs is to take a look at Camilla these days.  She is REALLY glowing for a woman of 64!  (Yeah, yeah - she still looks like a horse, but a much younger horse than she looked like BEFORE the bee venom treatment.)  

     Nevertheless, just to be sure, since Beauty Wonkette was there, she decided to try the bee venom treatment herself.  We have to admit that afterwards, she looked pretty damn excellent!

Bye Bye Mushy Muffin Top (AND good riddance to you)

     Almost immediately after Beauty Wonkette and Mr. BW welcomed mini-beauty-wonkette into the world, BW embarked on a rigorous get-back-into-shape routine.  It wasn't hard, really.  The 30 or so lbs gained were pretty easily lost (you see, in addition to being a beauty wonkette, beauty wonkette is also an sort of an uber jock).  BUT, even after the pounds were gone and tone and definition returned to virtually every other muscle, when Beauty Wonkette got back into her favorite jeans, she detected a certain uhhhhhh MUSHINESS .......... EWWWWWWWWWW.  Ah ok - it wasn't all THAT bad, but BW just didn't want it there.  What to do, what to do, what to do???

     A tummy tuck?!?!  Ok, that was dismissed by BW's doc as absurd.  Liposuction?  Again, Dr. Yucky Face said it was a ridiculous proposal.  To be honest, BW was all that hot on either idea herself, but she wanted options.  So she started researching and decided the new Lipomassage by Endermologie might work. Nicole Contos, CEO of NYC's Smooth Synergy Spa, one of the few medispas that has the latest LPG Lipomassage machine, called the Integral, told BW, "It is the only scientifically proven technique, targeting the fat that is resistant to diet and exercise. To date, all our clients who have experienced this technology have been extremely satisfied."

   Here's how the treatment works: You strip down, then slip on a body stocking (think  unitard made out of pantyhose), then the specialist massages your body with the machine's new Ergodrive head, which is equipped with a bunch of motorized rollers that lift up and knead your skin in various different directions. This "mechano-stimluation" of the skin's surface is proven to stimulate a deep biological response to eliminate fat cells, reduce cellulite, firm the skin, improve lymphatic drainage and overall reshape the contours of your body--all without any cutting, sucking, or other unpleasantries. Each treatment costs $150 and takes about 45 minutes.  If someone has a major problem, a total of 20 sessions, followed by a monthly maintenance session is recommended for maximum results.  Since Beauty Wonkette didn't fit in the "major" category, what was recommended was somewhere between 6 and 8 sessions (of which, she was told, she would get 2 per week).

     By my third treatment, BW started to notice visible results. I could see that my stomach skin was more toned, less squishy and didn't have that bloated look. BW was really impressed. Maybe it was a slight body change that only she would notice, but it was enough to make her a believer.  Ab work has always been the least favorite part of BW's workout routine, and though blessed with a smallish waist and a generally lean body, BW never had six pack abs.  She was so pleased with the transformation, she wound up doing a total of 10 sessions. Each week brought a little more tone, and by the end of five weeks, BW has definitely gone down one pant size less than her usual PRE pregnancy size, AND she did it without losing her bootylicious butt (of which both she and Mr. BW are quite fond). BW should point out that she kept up her workout regimen and good eating habits at the same time. In fact, she was told Lipomassage results are actually enhanced when you work out soon after a treatment because it's easier for your body to flush out the toxins and fat. The most challenging part of the whole process was finding the time to fit it into an already busy schedule, but once BW made it to the spa and lied down on the table, she was thrilled to get those 45 minutes of "me" time, and the procedure is actually very relaxing. It really was exactly what Beauty Wonkette needed.  She's happy now :)

Even if you aren't an EDGY chica, you'll love Le Edge!

Beauty Wonkette confessed long ago that she was a total scrub slut.  Blushing.  Pffft!  Why the hell am I blushing.  Exfoliation is GOOD FOR YOU, right?  I mean, anyone who has visited a spa and has had any type of exfoliating, wrap or cellulite-reducing treatment has had their spa technician EXTOL the benefits of ridding the skin on your body of dead skin cells. Makes sense to Beauty Wonkette? In fact, she has her very own microdermabrasion machine as part of her (growing) too chest.  So, why not the oft-neglected skin on our bodies.

For a long time, experts were hawking dry brushing as the ultimate (and perhaps only) solution to cellulite.  Beauty Wonkette doesn't like dry brushing.  Either it kind of hurts OR the brush in question loses its stiffness quickly (minimizing their ability to effectively exfoliate).  Also, Beauty Wonkette thinks it's a tad gross.   Does a dry brush ever get completely clean with all of its tiny bristles? Seems like a great hiding place for errant skin cells and bacteria.  Ewww.

Now there’s a very cool alternative. Le Edge is a personal exfoliating tool made of surgical-grade stainless steel.  To use Le Edge simply take it into the shower with you and glide it along (at a 45 degree angle) the area of your body that you wish to exfoliate. It can be used on any part of your face or body. BW's favorite way to use it is as part of pedicure treatment. It does a great job at eliminating any dry, scaly skin from the bottom of  feet. Simply clean it with hot water and let it dry before storing it.
Effective, easy to clean and hygenic? Le Edge est magnifique indeed BUT it doesn't smell as yummy as BW's scrubs.  But, since Le Edge only costs $34.95 and lasts forever, BW can happily indulge in both.  Grin.

P.S.  It does an awesome job of banishing razor bumps for both you AND your hunky, hairy so.


Retail price: $34.95
For more information visit: le-edgeusa.com