Nurturing Force Blot Out Offensive Primer

At one time or another, every blogger and just about every beauty / fashion rag I've ever read runs a "products that make up artists love" piece. Nars Orgasm blush, one Maybelline or L'Oreal mascara or another, Shu Uemura eyelash curler, yada yada yada.  Beauty Wonkette doesn't mean to imply that these aren't great items, because they are!  But, by now, we KNOW about them.  Well, Beauty Wonkette bets you can chalk this one up as a product we've never seen before. Makeup Artist Merrell Hollis swears by this all-natural primer for ensuring that his celebrity clients never, ever look shiny — even under bright, hot lights on set. 

Blot Out Offensive Shine + Oil Control cream absorbs quickly providing an instant matte canvas, HD Primer / Barrier, with anti-shine results without blocking pores. It controls oil secretions throughout the day, while supplying skin with needed moisture. Provides excellent adhesion for Airbrushed, Liquids, Powders, Creams Makeup + Body Art. Unlike many gel or silicone anti-shine products, you apply our cream with fingers, sponge or foundation brush, and can apply makeup instantly without waiting.  No tackiness, irritated dryness or sealed sensation to the skin.  Good stuff.

$24 at Le Cosmetique (a site you should definitely check out.....lots of good stuff)

There isn't much your $3 can buy at Starbucks, BUT........

It's sad but true.  There isn't much your $3 can buy at Starbucks, BUT do not despair my lovelies.  Even in these days of hyperinflation (like that word eh?), Beauty Wonkette has found something really good that your $3 CAN buy.... e.l.f. Cosmetics Lip Exfoliator ! Makeup artist (and creative director of e.l.f. Cosmetics) Achelle Dunaway lives and dies by this super-convenient, lipstick-shaped scrub. "Especially during the crisp winter months, lips always tend to dry out, and nobody wants to see flaky lips on a shoot or on the runway," she says. "A few routine swipes of this lip exfoliator, and lips are perfectly smoothed and conditioned."  Dunaway does not lie.  The stuff is awesome.  Beauty Wonkette has been making her own lip scrub for the past couple of years, but really, you just cannot go wrong with this stuff - especially not when it carries a $3 price tag.  It also travels alot better than Beauty Wonkette's usual little pot of lip scrub.

Ingredients:  Sugar, Persea Gratissima (Avocado) Oil, Vitis Vinifera (Grape) Seed Oil, Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Seed Oil, Copernicia Cerifera (Carnauba) Wax, Euphorbia Cerifera (Candelilla) Wax, Ceresin, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea Butter), Tocopherol, Aspartame, Fragrance.

$3, available at e.l.f. Cosmetics

What's this? Facial Moisturizer or LUBE?

Beauty Wonkette knows that in the past, she has posted about coochie cream to use on your face (as primer) and nipple cream for your pout.  So, she forgives you if you see a post about lube and think that Beauty Wonkette is going to propose that you use it as eye shadow or hair texturizer or something.  Ah ye of little faith......   This post is about LUBE to use as, well, lube!

The story behind Emily & Tony, the newest personal-care (a.k.a. sexy times) line to hit shelves, is one of sweet, simple beginnings. "We first met as kids," explains Anthony Sosnick (Tony), the founder of men's grooming line Anthony Logistics. "Emily's parents bought my family's house and then later on we ended up going to the same [summer] camp." The "Emily" in this equation is Emily Morse, a sex and relationship expert with a successful podcast. The two minds recently reconnected, many years after their summer-camp days, to create a collection of bedroom products that look so good you won't want to hide them in your nightstand.

Subtly sexual products like massage candles (that are as nice as they look) and their DownUnder Comfort (a sweat-wicking cream for private parts) are available now on the Emily & Tony website, but their all-star is the Personally Naturally Hydrating Lubricant, which comes out in September. "I have every single type of lube available in my house right now," Morse says of her hands-on approach to testing competitors' products. "Everyone should own a bottle of lube." She then rattles off a rather pragmatic list of reasons why lube is good for you (sex lasts longer, it's more pleasurable for the woman, it protects the condom from breaking, and so on) before concluding that most people still won't buy the stuff because it looks so obviously lubelike, to say nothing of the goo factor.

Emily & Tony's solution is a naturally derived lubricant that includes ingredients like aloe leaf, citric acid, and a marine-based moisturizer called carrageenan extract. It's also vegan, non-sticky, long-lasting, fragrance-free, and "compatible with latex condoms and silicone toys." The bonus? If you leave it out, it just looks like face lotion.  Nice.

Beauty Wonkette Nails the Path to the Perfectly Undone Look

Have you ever wondered how those J.Crew models get perfectly undone hair? Beauty Wonkette most certainly HAS wondered.  So, she searched for an answer and now she has it - and so do you :D.  The 'do is courtesy of this sea-salt spray created by Brent Lavett, the stylist responsible for the tousled manes on the website. Containing pure Maris salt, which is harvested from the only active sea-salt bed in North America, the product also includes Bulgarian rose and spirulina algae for softness, volume, and a subtle scent. Spray into damp or dry hair before twisting up into a bun if you prefer a more wavy look. And if you want that second-day piece-y effect, simply let it air dry.  Beauty Wonkette wishes she figured this out during the Summer, but hey - better late than never!

Lavett & Chin Original Sea/Salt texturizing mist, $30 at J.Crew.

Amazon's Quest for World Domination.....

Beauty Wonkette has learned that, in its continuous quest for world domination, Amazon launched its prestige beauty site this morning. Women's Wear Daily reported that the site will include 24 brands, including NARS, Deborah Lippmann, Stila, Burberry Body, and more niche brands like Japonesque and Cane + Austin. “We have heard very clearly from our customers that they are looking for luxury brands,” Chance Wales, Amazon's director of beauty and health and personal care told WWD.

Just the thing for the person who has ever thought, "Hmm, you know what's really missing from my shopping cart of sexy nostalgic teen romances (I mean Alice Munro)? A jar of $95 eye cream!!" No word on whether Amazon will engage in competitive price gouging techniques with other beauty retailers to drive the price of, say, La Mer Concentrate down. But here's hoping.

Free Vibrators During the Government Shutdown

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