Go Bang Yourself!


No this is not a post about masturbation!  It is about bangs - do it yourself bangs to be more precise.

    Shortly after Beauty Wonkette's last haircut, she regretted not having asked for bangs.  We've all been there at one time or another....to bang or not to bang.  It is a quandry you can belabor for ages!  But then, once you decide to indeed bang, if you are anything like Beauty Wonkette, you want to do it right that minute!  So, what to do?  Do you head back to see your stylist?  If your stylist is anything like mine, you can forget the whole RIGHT NOW thing.  What to do?  Bang yourself!  It's easy.  Follow BW's instructions and we promise you will not end up looking like your sibling attacked you with arts & crafts scissors (and, yes, BW's brother did just that when she was 9).

Here it is.  Beauty Wonkette's go-to guide for fixing up some face fringe in five quick steps.

1. Get your hair completely straight. Blow your hair out, add a flat iron, do what you have to do, but do NOT cut your hair when it's wet. Hair shrinks when soaked, so you can't accurately judge how much length you'll have when it dries. Give yourself the cutest blowout in history before you start — you'll be working with the most ideal canvas.

2. Section off the part of your hair that will become bangs. Go as thick or thin as you want. I would suggest not cutting more hair than can comfortably fit between your index and middle fingers. You can always go back and cut more, but make sure it's a manageable section to start.

3. Prepare to cut. Pull the section forward, then close the hair between your index and middle fingers where you want your bangs to hit your forehead. Pull it taut — but not too tight — to predict how your soon-to-be bangs will fall naturally.

4. Snip, snip. Holding the cuticle scissors vertically, make tiny cuts upward into the hair that's hanging out of your fingers. Boom. That's how you create fringe. Snip about a centimeter or so lower than you think you should; You can always go back and shorten if you've left too much length. Take your time. I like to work from the middle out so I can make sure the sides are even. If you want blunt bangs, just cut straight across still leaving that extra centimeter and pacing yourself.

5. Check your work. Release your finger-hold and tousle what's left. Cute? Not so much? Go back and repeat the process if you want to shorten or add more layers. Then, walk away before you cut too much. You're done.

If you just need to trim your bangs, follow the exact same process. Done and done. You saved yourself a trip to the salon and you can move on with your life!

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