Beer in Your Hair....

Beauty Wonkette just read an interesting interview with top Australian hairstylist Joh Bailey. One of his tips:

"Beer. It’s fantastic as a setting lotion – it’s something to do with the fermentation process. Put it in a spray bottle and mist it in before a blow-dry. The effect is really beautiful. Really. I like Heineken but even Toohey’s will do!"

Beauty Wonkette first heard of Joh Bailey on Australia’s Next Top Model when he personally did the makeovers for the girls. He's pretty cool. (BW has been secretly watching AusNTM5 online during downtime at work and loving it. Such a guilty pleasure :D)

Anyway, back to the beer - I’ve heard the trick of rinsing out your hair with beer for extra shine, but not as a setting lotion!

Someone want to try this and tell us what you think? :-P

10 Songs to be Circumsized to.....

Why, oh why, you may ask, is Beauty Wonkette posting this? LOL. I really don't want to explain here. Let's just say that sometimes you have to think beyond the tip of ummmmm WHATEVAH!!!

Now, then, Beauty Wonkette gets down to serious business. A new study by scientists at the University of Alberta looks at whether music can help babies cope with pain better. In one specific study found, male babies who heard music during their circumcisions had lower heart rates and decreased pain. But what soundtrack do you choose as a parent?

Wellllll, Beauty Wonkette has got some ideas!

"The First Cut Is The Deepest" is an obvious choice.

As is Basement Jaxx's "Where's Your Head At?"

A male colleague said "Help" by the Beatles was the first song to come into his head, no pun intended. Ahem.

If the father is himself circumcised, Garbage's "Bleed Like Me" probably makes sense.

But if you're feeling a little guilty, Jann Arden's "Insensitive" has quite the double meaning for you.

If there's been a family fight over it, Becks "Devil's Haircut" is a great passive-aggressive choice.

Whereas the Bloodhound Gang's "Bad Touch" is just a way to express your displeasure.

If you want your son to have positive associations about his penis and your decision, Fatboy Slim's "Weapon of Choice" is definitely the way to go.

But if you believe it's not a big deal, Blink 182's "All The Small Things" is probably more up your alley.

And if you're just kind of cruel, well, "Limp" by Fiona Apple is sure to fuck your kid up worse.

Other suggestions, of course, are encouraged in the comments :D

(Beauty Wonkette finishes her margarita....hiccup)

Beauty Wonkette's 5 Fav Lip Balms (of the moment...)

Having already established that Beauty Wonkette has a certain fetish for lippies of all types, she thought it time to devote some space to lip balms. Not lipstick. Not lip gloss. Not lip stains. LIP BALMS!!! During our Lake Como vacation, lip balm was just about all Beauty Wonkette needed (ah, okay, along with the occasional mascara; good lip balm doubles as eye shadow btw :D ). Here are Beauty Wonkette's 5 favorites. At least, for right now:

FOR A POSH PUCKER
Eve Lom Kiss Mix: In the realm of luxe lip balms, this one, from the renowned British facialist, is our favorite. The formula feels amazing on the lips and leaves the slightest pale, glossy tint on lips. $25 at Space NK

PRINCESS JASMINE
Clarks Botanicals Ultra Rich Lip Balm: An effective all-around balm with an amazing jasmine oil scent we can’t get enough of. $19 at Clarks Botanicals

A POT OF SWEET (and Beauty Wonkette's favorite favorite)
Julie Hewett Camelia Lip Balm: For those who don’t like a thick, heavy balm, this one is so light-textured it can even be used on the face. It comes in a substantial pot that feels nice in the hand and smells faintly like a Creamsicle. $14 at Julie Hewett

MMMMMMM BUTTAH
The Body Shop Shea Lip Care Stick: For fans of the company’s cult body butter, a lush, shea butter-infused balm for the lips that smells faintly of coconut oil. $15 for two at The Body Shop

BEAT THE SUN W/ THIS CONCESSION TO THE RECESSION !
Jack Black Black Diamond Formula Intense Therapy Lip Balm SPF 25: The newest version of this ultra-healing balm has a delicious lemony, vanilla-y scent that reminds us of cake. And the high SPF will make your dermatologist happy. $7 at Sephora

Beauty Wonkette is soooo BACK !

Greetings and salutations my fellow wonkettes. I'm baaaaack. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. I wish I could say I'm glad to be back but I most definitely am NOT. Ten days in Lake Como, Italy makes Beauty Wonkette want 10 more days, 10 weeks, 10 months, 10 years, 10 decades.... Uh did I mention that I REALLY liked Lake Como?

BEAUTY BREAKTHROUGH !!! the first effective mix of vitamin C and copper

Ask any expert and they will tell you that two of the most significant collagen-boosting ingredients you could find in skincare products are L-ascorbic acid (vitamin C) and copper. Until now, however, it has been virtually impossible to benefit from both ingredients at once, as copper oxidizes vitamin C, making it ineffective.

Amazingly, one of Beauty Wonkettes FAVORITE skincare lines, IS CLINICAL, has found a way for a more stable, time-released form of 15% vitamin C and copper tripeptide growth factor to live in harmony in their Super Serum Advance+. Since the vitamin C used contains a more stabilized molecular structure, it can be combined effectively with copper. This unlikely but outstanding pair stay balanced, working in tandem to promote the repair and creation of skin cells and consequently, encourage younger-looking skin.

Also in this uber-formula is mushroom extract, a source of kojic acid, which addresses hyperpigmentation and overall dullness. Antioxidant powerhouses zinc sulfate and centella asiatica (also known as gotu kola) go beyond basic free-radical defense to reduce inflammation and foster healing.

Regular use of this breakthrough blend leads to a smoother, more even-toned, better-protected complexion. Add IS Clinical's Active Serum at night and Beauty Wonkette guarantees that you will be amazed at the results!

Read more about IS Clinical here and when you're ready to take the plunge, Skincare Rx offers frequent discounts on this pricey line (i.e. Makeup Alley members get 20% off)

Concession to the recession aka Beauty Wonkette plays mad scientist.....

With a little experimentation, my fellow Beauty Wonkettes, it is possible to have custom beauty down to a science...

Hypothesis: "Reformulating" our makeup stash will give us more mileage from our products...and yield some very positive reactions.

Materials: Tired, broken and neglected makeup; small airtight containers (like empty baby food jars); Q-tips for mixing.

Procedure:

• Foundation + face lotion (SPF if possible) = tinted moisturizer
• Powder blush + clear balm/salve = lip gloss
• Lipstick + concealer + clear balm/salve = cream blush
• Powder bronzer + liquid concealer = cream eye shadow
• White/shimmery eye shadow + moisturizer = highlighter
• Lipstick + liquid concealer = matte lip color (alter the shade with powder or blush)
• Too-dark face powder + eye cream = cream bronzer
• Dark eye shadow + clear balm/salve = cream eyeliner
• Powder bronzer + face powder = brow powder (use a tissue to pack loose powder back into a container)
• Mascara + clear balm/salve (clean wand, rub with balm, and use as normal) = glossier mascara

Conclusion: Spending cash on new products doesn't have to be part of the solution OR save money by playing Dr. Frankenstein and you'll have MORE money to spend on new stuff (WEG)

Hanging by a thread(er)......

The fate of Beauty Wonkette's eyebrows is hanging by a thread...device.

Having never tried threading (I know, I know--it's super effective and long-lasting blah blah blah), Beauty Wonkette wasn't sure what to expect from the Sun Maita At-home Threading kit, the first of its kind.

Beauty Wonkette felt a little safer reading Sun Maita's promise to be gentle (it doesn't tug the skin like waxing, so there's no irritation). So after setting up the gadget's threads in a criss-cross pattern, it was time for a test run on my arm. The threads crossed over the hair, grabbing and pulling a few at a time with minimal pain. Not bad.

Next stop: eyebrows, where BW hoped to replicate the exactness of her trusty Rubis.

No such pluck (sorry, I couldn't resist ;-) ). At least not right away. It was easy to remove small groups of hairs from the area, but it was clear a bit more practice was required for more precise landscaping.

In the meantime, Beauty Wonkette will continue to perfect her threading skills on her arm and upper lip AND recommend the device to anyone looking for an effective (assuming you're willing to practice) new way to de-fuzz at home.

Score your kit online for $150 at http://www.threaderonline.com/

CEW 2009 Beauty Award Winners List

Beauty Wonkette has been meaning to post this list but uhhhhhhhhh...... Aw c'mon now. It isn't Beauty Wonkette's fault that she also has to work :(

BATH AND BODY

Mass

Avon Products, Inc.
Anew Clinical Professional Stretch Mark Smoother

Using our exclusive, first-to-market TriLaser Technology, the formula works to visibly reduce the appearance of stretch marks and help prevent new ones from forming. The technology is designed to help boost elastin and stimulate collagen, while utilizing glycolic acid to help smooth the texture and even the tone and color of existing stretch marks. In eight weeks, over 90% of women show improvement in length, depth and visibility of stretch marks.


Vickery & Clarke Natural Apothecary
Eucalyptus & Peppermint Cold & Sinus Soak

Over 94% natural, Eucalyptus & Peppermint Cold & Sinus Soak is a calming and soothing bath soak that naturally relieves symptoms of the common cold. Eucalyptus & Peppermint Cold & Sinus Soak uses Eucalyptus essential oils, which are immune-supporting oils, and Peppermint, a relaxing and refreshing oil, to evoke feelings of calm and comforting relief while bathing. This soak can be used in the bath or as a shower rinse.

Prestige

Ojon
Tawaka™ "The Ball"

Product: Stimulating treatment and full-body polish inspired by a cleansing ball used by the Central American Tawaka tribes Breakthrough: Three ingredients from the Central American rainforests were used and added to the Cosmetics Dictionary--Ojon Oil (Elaeis Oleifera Kernel Oil), Ojon Shells (Elaeis Oleifera Shell Powder) and Achiote (Bixa Orellana Leaf Powder) Packaging: Bowl inspired by the handmade basins used by indigenous tribes Unique characteristics: “The Ball” takes up to two days to make and contains the same antioxidant amount as 2,834 lbs. of blueberries.


Fresh
Fig Apricot Bath and Shower Gel

Fig Apricot Bath and Shower Gel is a gentle, foaming bath cleanser that nourishes the skin with borage seed oil, while hydrating with a combination of meadowfoam and evening primrose oils, along with shea butter. This gel is further enriched with revitalizing Vitamins C and E. The luxurious, exotic scent of Turkish apricot and peach skin, combined with fig and jasmine, makes for the ultimate soothing, rich bath and shower experience.

FACIAL SKINCARE

Mass

Clean & Clear®
Advantage® Blackhead Eraser™ Exfoliating Cleanser

Advantage® Blackhead Eraser™ Exfoliating Cleanser is a handheld device that helps instantly reduce blackheads and help prevent new ones from forming. It comes with single-use pads that are lightly textured and formulated with breakthrough oil-dissolving technology: ACELERA™ Complex and salicylic acid. It’s ergonomic shape and slip-free grip make it easy to maneuver over blackhead prone areas, like the bridge of the nose, chin and forehead.

Olay
Regenerist 14 Day Skin Intervention

Regenerist 14 Day Skin Intervention is a two-week treatment formulated to penetrate the skin’s surface for a reinvigorated, lifted look that helps turn around skin’s appearance. The concentrated formula, containing an Olay peptide-B3 complex, penetrates skin with intense hydration to significantly firm and reduce the appearance of wrinkles. An intense hydrating system works to improve the skin’s moisture barrier, resulting in stronger skin structure.

Neutrogena
Wave™ Power Cleanser and Deep Clean Foaming Pads

Wave™ Power Cleanser and Deep Clean Foaming Pads contain a battery-operated, water-resistant cleanser that's clinically proven to perform better than ordinary manual cleansers. Pre-dosed, single-use, textured pads gently sweep away layers of dead skin cells to reveal noticeably smoother and softer skin after just one use. The gentle, vibrating motion of the ergonomically designed system applicator massages skin, opening pores for deeper cleansing and removing all traces of dirt, oil and makeup.

Garnier Nutritioniste
Skin Renew Anti-Puff Eye Roller

Skin Renew Anti-Puff Eye Roller is an easy-to-apply eye treatment that helps diminish dark circles and deflate puffiness, thanks to its exclusive “Skin-Nutrient Complex” and cooling roll-on applicator. It instantly refreshes tired eyes by stimulating microcirculation around skin’s delicate eye area with a gentle-glide, massaging roller.

Olay
Definity Color Recapture

This product is a daily anti-aging moisturizer that provides sheer, illuminating coverage that works on the surface immediately for even skin tone. It also works to diminish the appearance of discolorations for more even skin tone over time. The product contains three levels of benefits within the beautiful beige and white spiral suspended in a clear gel: Olay-exclusive Essential Glucosamine Complex, containing N-acetyl glucosamine and niacinamide; sheer coverage for immediate skin tone improvement; and SPF 15 and Olay moisturizers.

Prestige

Clinique
Even Better Skin Tone Corrector

Women in the U.S. rank uneven skin tone as one of their biggest skin care concerns. Even Better Skin Tone Corrector virtually undoes the visible evidence of sun damage, dark patches, skin stress, age spots and even the darkening that follows acne scarring. Formulated for all ethnicities, it is an exquisitely lightweight, layerable serum that creates a notably more even and clear complexion. Within four to six weeks, it measurably and visibly corrects, clarifies and evens skin tone. Over time, it even helps prevent new dark spots from forming.


Fresh
Appleseed Brightening Exfoliant

Fresh Appleseed Brightening Exfoliant offers a highly effective and innovative exfoliating experience that is as gentle as it is enjoyable. Mechanical and non-mechanical exfoliators sweep away dead skin cells without irritating the skin to promote a glowing, flawless complexion. As pomegranate seeds and bamboo gently sweep away dry, dull skin, leaving a renewed complexion, the citrus fruit acids, non-mechanical exfoliators, help enhance cellular turnover, revitalizing and softening the skin. Appleseed oil nourishes, protects and is rich in essential fatty acids, offering purely radiant skin.

Shiseido
White Lucent Brightening Eye Treatment

White Lucent Brightening Eye Treatment targets and treats the factors that contribute to dark circles in the undereye region using a Dark Circle Targeting Complex technology that includes Vitamin C and Vitamin E. Other product ingredients include Beech Tree Shoot Extract, which promotes the production of collagen and minimizes dark shadows caused by wrinkles and sagging. For cosmetic benefits, Multi-Luminizing Powder diffuses light on the skin’s surface, minimizing the appearance of dark circles and dullness.

ESTÉE LAUDER
Time Zone Line and Wrinkle Reducing Moisturizer SPF 15

Contains two new and exclusive technologies that reverse the cellular aging process and dramatically reduce the look of lines and wrinkles. Skin looks and acts as it did years ago. Sirtuin EX-1 Technology helps skin naturally stimulate its proteins, thereby helping skin cells renew their innate ability to withstand daily assaults. An industry first, Tri-Hyaluronic Acid Complex is a unique blend of three Hyaluronic Acid technologies that work at multiple levels in the skin to help replenish, rebuild and sustain the ideal moist environment for more lineless, youthful looking skin.

HAIR

Mass

Avon Products, Inc.
Advance Techniques Grey Root Touch-Up

Formulated with creatine to strengthen and repair hair, the gentle, peroxide-free color instantly blends away grey roots until your next shampoo. This easy-to-use gel tint formula instantly camouflages greys with a mess-proof, mascara-like brush that ensures quick-dry, targeted application and won’t flake or rub off. Comb on the temporary gel tint formula when grey roots start to show for a fast, easy way to conceal grey hairs between hair colorings.

Prestige

Living Proof, Inc.
Straight Making No Frizz Styling Cream for Medium to Thick Hair

No Frizz is the first anti-frizz technology in over 30 years to do what silicones can't--block humidity out of hair without weighing it down. After looking at the vast non-beauty world for inspiration and screening a library of novel compounds, Living Proof discovered a new compound, PolyfluoroEster, and formulated it into No Frizz. The technology reduces frizz by coating the hair fiber with an extremely thin vapor barrier, preventing moisture flux in and out of the hair, and reducing friction between fibers.

Now, if you're asking if Beauty Wonkette agrees, the answer is yes, no, and yo no se... For instance, Beauty Wonkette is IN LOVE with the Living Proof No Frizz Styling Creams. My hair has never looked so consistently fabulous. On the other hand, while Beauty Wonkette usually appreciates Olay's determination to provide quality skincare that is affordable, the entire Definity line SUCKS imho.

CEW also doled awards for makeup and some men's products. You can check them out yourself at the CEW site.

Ugleeee feet ?

It’s pedicure season! But there are some things a salt scrub and pumice stone just won’t fix (cough cough, corns). Hey, no judgments — wearing women’s shoes is rough stuff. That’s why head makeup artist for The Bold and the Beautiful, Allyson Carey, created a line of foundation for your feet. T!ntalize (Beauty Wonkette can't make this stuff up, people) is smudge- and sweatproof (errr supposedly) makeup designed to conceal corns, scars, blisters, veins, tan lines, and other discolorations. Of course, Beauty Wonkette had to see for herself. She recruited a few co-workers with various foot situations (corns, scars, and callouses were represented) and put it to the test. Colors range from Vanilla Mousse to Chile Chocolate (ahem.... Beauty Wonkette REALLY can't make this stuff up) and are applied just like regular foundation. The darker colors concealed more naturally, while the lighter colors — as one colleague put it — made skin resemble Barbie’s foot, in both color and texture. Hot! And the makeup wasn’t so smudgeproof: Everyone had foundation smeared on their socks and shoes. But if you really have some gnarled-up feet, try it for yourself.

$15 at Tintalize.com

Mother's Day !!!! Do it right.

Last night, Beauty Wonkette was exhausted and her SO was working late, so she vegged out in front of the boob tube. Well, let me tell you, BW was overwhelmed by the outdated and thoroughly unappealing gift ideas for Mother’s Day. Why oh why (insert popular department store here) are your pre-Mother’s Day sale items all kitchen appliances, household cleaning tools and bedding? I know that if I showed up to my mother’s house with a basket full of cleaning products she’d sure as hell Swiffer my ass to death! So take a cue from Beauty Wonkette and pamper Mom with what she really wants - massages, beauty products, or even just a lunch date with you, because last time we checked, yo' Mamma ain’t raised no fool!

P.S. Beauty Wonkette's Mom is a NYC mom, but you can find your mom's hometown equivalent...


Beauty
Now through Saturday May 9th Bond No. 9 will be hosting a Mother’s Day raffle, where Mom could win a year’s supply of Bond No. 9 – this means one bottle of the eau de parfum of her choice per month. Stop at any of the Bond No. 9 boutiques in New York City (9 Bond Street, 680 Madison Ave, 897 Madison Ave, 399 Bleecker St), or at any Bond counter at Saks Fifth Avenue to sign up.

Who doesn’t love a day at the spa? Book mom at appointment for a 3-hour “Mother’s Day Dream” at Faina European Day Spa. The package includes a facial, pedicure, 60-minute massage and champagne. Or you can opt for the “Mother & Daughter Package” and enjoy manis, pedis, massages and champagne together. 315 W. 57 St 4th Fl. Suite 402, 212.245.6557

Dining Out
Take your mamma out! I’m pretty sure Mom’s love Mimosas and Bellinis almost as much as they love their children, so skip the partying on Saturday night and rise and shine for a brunch date with mom.

We really just recommend taking her to your favorite brunch spot. She’ll appreciate that you want to show her a favorite and after a few afternoon cocktails she’ll forget about the screaming children, hungover hipsters and the god-awful wait for your table and your food.

Low Key but Lots of Love
Since the weather on Sunday looks promising, why not grab a blanket and pack a picnic lunch with mom in Central Park. You can whip up something at home (try cooking up some of mom's favorites) or pick up some takeout and spend an afternoon in the sun. Don’t forget the homemade card!

If you’re heading outside of the city for the day, why not have a sentimental afternoon with mom. Cook up a dish in particular your mom used to make you or taught you to make. A hobby you two share? Enjoy it together. Take a cue from my sis and I as we’ll be coordinating a “girls night” fully equipped with a trip down memory lane to shops and restaurants we used to frequent during our youth-filled girls nights with mom.

Also, check out this hysterical video for a bit of Mother’s Day inspiration: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAxfh8ukosQ

Pssssst....Beauty Wonkette shares some of the best beauty secrets she's heard of late...

Every now and then even Beauty Wonkettes make a concession to the Recession. Here are some great and uber CHEAP beauty secrets...

Want to perk up dry winter strands? Try Jet Rhys’s (of San Diego's Jet Rhy's Salon) recipe for a shine- and moisture-enhancing conditioner: “Put 1/4 cup mint and 1/4 cup rosemary into glass jar, and pour 1 cup apple-cider vinegar over the herbs. Seal the jar, leave it in the refrigerator for two weeks, strain it into a spray bottle, and then apply a few squirts post-shampoo.”

Booze may not cure a broken heart, but it can ease your hair woes. “Reach for the vodka to remove product buildup, and rinse your hair in a mixture of 1 part beer to 3 parts water to add shine and body,” Rhys suggests. Or for an alcohol-free option, pour Sprite into a spray bottle, and spritz it onto damp hair to create a sexy texture.

According to Rhys, standard condiments can solve hair quandaries. “Ketchup neutralizes green tints from chlorine exposure, while sea-salt scrubs are great for revitalizing the scalp.”

Bananas aren’t only a healthful snack; they’re full of vitamins and amino acids that soften strands and promote hair’s elasticity. To reap the benefits, Rhys recommends a homemade banana-mango hair mask “Mix 1 banana, 1/2 mango, 1 egg yolk, and 1 tbsp olive oil in a blender. Massage it through your hair, cover with a shower cap for 15 minutes, then rinse it out with warm water and shampoo.”

If you're in a pinch, you can enhance your natural hair color with certain types of tea, Rhys says. “Chamomile tea with lemon will bring out highlights in blondes, while brunettes should steep darker teas, like Earl Gray, with a few sprigs of rosemary. Just rinse your hair in the brew, leave it on for 20 minutes, rinse, and condition. Repeat the process daily until you achieve the desired effect.”

According to Rhys, a deep-conditioning treatment needn’t cost a fortune. “You can make your own hair mask at home by blending a tablespoon of honey or jojoba oil with a half cup of milk,” she explains. “Just massage it in, leave on for 15 minutes, and rinse with warm water.”

Orient Express

By popular demand, Beauty Wonkette has put together a list of some of the most sought after Asian imports to the world of beauty. And, while Beauty Wonkette admits that she has not tried all of them, if it's on this list it comes with the highest of recommendations from Wonkettes that BW trusts without reservation :D

Angel Heart by Parfums Clandestine: Touted as Japan’s most popular fragrance, just a single spritz will leave you feeling super kawaii (“cute”). The scent also has various spin-offs, such as Lion Heart, Baby Heart, and Angel Heart Gorgeous.

Yu-Be Medicated Moisturizing Cream: Formulated by Japanese pharmacist Yoshikiyo Nowatari, this leading cream rehabilitates rough skin, heels, and elbows. Mountain climbers reportedly rely on it to combat the effects of cold, dry air, and it can be used to soothe eczema.

Two Girls (The House of Kwong Sang Hong) Hair Oil: From Hong Kong’s long-venerated brand, this elixir is rich in nourishing ingredients like vitamin E and makes a wonderful deep-conditioning treatment for all hair types.

Laneige Sliding Pact: This best-selling Korean compact foundation has light-reflecting particles to enhance skin’s radiance. It also conceals imperfections, keeps oil at bay, and comes with SPF 24 to guard against UV damage.

Asience HairCare: This popular Japanese line is becoming a staple in Singaporean salons. Made with pearls, soybean proteins, and luscious conditioners like camellia oil, it’s the perfect remedy for dry or damaged hair.

Dejavu Fiberwig 3D Mascara: Although almost every company now has a fiber mascara, Dejavu's version has three times more fiber than the competition. The result? Long, voluminous lashes that keep their curl all day.

Johnson & Johnson Clean & Clear Oil Blotting Sheets in Pink Grapefruit: Although the sheets are a staple in the States, in Japan they come in this colorful, scented version. The adorable packaging makes them ideal to toss in handbags and makeup cases.

Sekkisei-Kose Whitening Lotion: Despite its name, this lotion contains no harsh hydroquinone and instead calls on nourishing herbal extracts to replenish the moisture lost during cleansing. In addition to everyday use, its cooling properties make it great for soothing sunburns.

Shu Uemura Cleansing Oil: Popular not only in its native Japan but also worldwide, this cleanser makes makeup removal a breeze. Plus, it comes in five different formulations for a variety of skin types.

Dodo Palgantong Theatre Makeup: This Korean loose powder is so effective at minimizing pores and shine, more than 5 million units have been sold in Japan. Finely milled and sheer, it’s perfect for setting liquid foundation while leaving skin with a gorgeous, natural-looking finish.

Have a sexy Spring ;-)

It's SPRING!!! the sun has finally shown itself (been raining here for daysssss). And now, my fellow Beauty Wonkettes, it's your turn. Why not get rid of all those bulky layers in the most pulse-pounding way possible? Have him do it. What's the easiest way to persuade him to start unzipping? Irresistible perfumes -- scents so alluring Beauty Wonkette shall call them aphrodisiacs. To get him going, hand-pick the aromas that will lure him closer, then closer... then, well, the rest is your business.

Since Agent Provocateur makes some of the sexiest, yet sophisticated lingerie on the planet, it only makes sense their latest perfume would have a naughty air. This eau du parfum infuses white lotus flowers (Beauty Wonkette realizes now that she adores the scent of white lotus)and delicate nuances of white ylang-ylang, but also hits a warm and musky tone. The sexy scientists at A.P. headquarters crafted Maitresse as a naughty sister scent to their original scent, and she's very, very bad, in a very, very good way. Wearing Maitresse is akin to wearing their lingerie -- it may not be for the everyday, but when things need heating up in the bedroom, skip the covers and reach for this scent.

80 for 50 ml, at agentprovocateur.com

A Quick RANT from Beauty Wonkette....

While celebrities often babble on and on about how they want nothing on their bodies too fleshy or fat, they aren't talking about their faces. The latest beauty trend seen on the red carpet is chunky cheeks. It's called "pillow face," and it's a term used to describe faces that are soft and round. It's popular because, DUH, cheeks hollow out with age, so rounder faces signify youth. Take Nicole Kidman, whose arms and legs are thin but whose cheeks are puffy and full. Same with Catherine Zeta-Jones. "A pretty youthful face has fullness in the cheeks, like Disney's Pocahontas," says Dr. Michael Prager, a Dallas plastic surgeon. "An older plain face has it in the jaw, like Shrek." The message here: Emaciated faces are for old hags, chubby cheeks are for youthful women. Either you look like Pocahontas or Shrek. Is there no happy medium? Because as of right now, Beauty Wonkette refuses to equate herself with ogres and pillows. Pffft.

Can luxury survive in this economy? Welcome to Darwinism!

The Wall Street Journal's magazine, WSJ., asks a question Beauty Wonkette has been wondering: Can the luxury-retail market survive the recession and the resulting everything-must-go 70 percent off sales that consumers are growing accustomed to? When was the last time you paid full price for anything designer? If BW thinks back to the big Saks sale last year, at first, everyone was scandalized at just how low the prices fell. But now, we expect it. Frankly, Beauty Wonkette won't pay old-economy prices for her bags again.

So what will happen to the high-end stores of yore? The Journal doesn't really answer this, of course. Who can, unless they have one helluva great Magic Eight Ball. But the article does look at the new world of shopping, which isn't really new to most fashion fanatics. Net-A-Porter changed the way houses looked at web retail, after Natalie Massenet started bypassing runway shows and buyers — with RM and Halston selling directly on her site. And she recently launched theoutnet.com, her outlet site, with which everyone is a touch obsessed. WSJ. also explores the glorious world of online sales at Gilt Groupe, and those traditionally gauche places, outlet stores. (Beauty Wonkette's best shoe finds ever were from the Neiman Marcus outlets in Dallas. Just saying.) All of these sites and stores are changing fashion dramatically. Some designers are digging in their heels and not dropping their prices. But others are adapting and giving consumers what they want. Shocking idea. Balenciaga has a new outlet at Woodbury Common (NY), and Oscar de la Renta launched an outlet section on the company's website. And though designers were furious about the steep markdowns at department stores late last year, consumers loved them. You can't really argue with what the customer wants. So while consumers may not pay full price again, luxury can survive this economy. That is, if, like everything and everyone else right now, it learns to adapt. Welcome to Darwinism.

Bathroom erotica......hehe

Ahhhhh Beauty Wonkette got your attention didn't she??? Now on to serious business. Beauty Wonkette has mentioned before that she has declared this the year for ensuring that she treat herself well and has proposed that her fellow wonkettes do the same. 2009 is the year to do those things that we find beneficial.

Now, when it comes to bodycare, the most essential element for Beauty Wonkette is whether or not the feelings evoked enhance her femininity. Do they make her feel like a sex kitten who needs to be ravaged?

When using the new Diptyque line of body products, the word that comes to mind to describe it is... EROTIC (and hence the title of this post :D). For some of us, especially in these difficult economic times, the price of the line screams LUXURY. But even Beauty Wonkette, who is sometimes downright cheap, has decided to break down and shell out $78 for the body oil. The company states that, "the products are designed for the well-being of both the body and soul, and the formulas do not contain any phthalates, parabens, synthetic coloring agents, TEA, DEA, glycols, silicones, PEG, aluminum or sulfates derived from petrochemicals." Yeah, yeah - green is virtuous, but that doesn't explain why BW is shelling out the dough.

When BW first tried these products the only thing she thought about was that she needed to wear these scents not only for herself, but for her so. Before long, BW's thoughts drifted to him taking her foot in his hand, licking her painted toes, then him trailing his tongue from her ankle to mid-thigh and breathing in the scents that bring to mind an afternoon of lounging in each others arms, spent and satiated.

When BW spread the body oil over her body it was like "ahem" pleasuring herself. C'mon know, ladies, don't be coy. Surely you know the pleasure of a silky orgasm that is felt from limb to limb, and leaves you laying there like a wilted flower. And so it has happened that now, Beauty Wonkette looks forward to using the body oil like an addict awaits the next high; like a stolen sexual encounter with a forbidden lover. Indeed, BW grows almost sad as she nears the end, knowing she simply must re-supply.

Some lines have lost sight of the power of scent and make it secondary, or treat it as an after-thought. Others scent their products to smell like the corner bakery. Nice, maybe, but not Beauty Wonkette's (or her so's) idea of sexy. Diptyque, however, understands the allure of an aromatic blend in an equally well-made product. They understand that even the most type-A power woman, wants to feel sexy, to feel taken, to feel spent. That the dance of sensuality and attraction is often enhanced by the components of desire that are applied over the body and experienced and blended with lust.

These products are exquisite and the blends sensual. Use them and consider what your lover will think when he leans in close to nuzzle your neck, your thigh. Allow yourself to wonder whether, when he leaves, will he still be able to smell the scent of you on his own body and smile... and lust for you again. And, that, my dear wonkettes, beats the smell of "Cotton Candy Foaming Body Scrub" ANY day. :D


Available online at Ron Robinson and Diptyque Boutiques worldwide.