10 Songs to be Circumsized to.....
Why, oh why, you may ask, is Beauty Wonkette posting this? LOL. I really don't want to explain here. Let's just say that sometimes you have to think beyond the tip of ummmmm WHATEVAH!!!
Now, then, Beauty Wonkette gets down to serious business. A new study by scientists at the University of Alberta looks at whether music can help babies cope with pain better. In one specific study found, male babies who heard music during their circumcisions had lower heart rates and decreased pain. But what soundtrack do you choose as a parent?
Wellllll, Beauty Wonkette has got some ideas!
"The First Cut Is The Deepest" is an obvious choice.
As is Basement Jaxx's "Where's Your Head At?"
A male colleague said "Help" by the Beatles was the first song to come into his head, no pun intended. Ahem.
If the father is himself circumcised, Garbage's "Bleed Like Me" probably makes sense.
But if you're feeling a little guilty, Jann Arden's "Insensitive" has quite the double meaning for you.
If there's been a family fight over it, Becks "Devil's Haircut" is a great passive-aggressive choice.
Whereas the Bloodhound Gang's "Bad Touch" is just a way to express your displeasure.
If you want your son to have positive associations about his penis and your decision, Fatboy Slim's "Weapon of Choice" is definitely the way to go.
But if you believe it's not a big deal, Blink 182's "All The Small Things" is probably more up your alley.
And if you're just kind of cruel, well, "Limp" by Fiona Apple is sure to fuck your kid up worse.
Other suggestions, of course, are encouraged in the comments :D
(Beauty Wonkette finishes her margarita....hiccup)