Do you have BUTT ACNE?!?!?!?!?!
Just for the record (ahem), Beauty Wonkette does NOT have butt acne. Butt (no pun intended :D ), apparently, although it is one of those embarrassing beauty issues that few women like to admit to, butt breakouts are relatively common - enough so that a lotion has been created specifically for the purpose of eliminating butt acne. Beauty Wonkette really never has heard of butt acne. However, Beauty Wonkette's butt is one of her great beauty assets (oh god, that sounds like another bad pun) and so she takes especially good care of it. The fact is, that even if you don't have the accursed butt acne, you probably do want smooth silky skin, not only on your butt, but your arms, etc.
Beauty Wonkette was delighted to learn about a product on the market dedicated solely to your ass!!!! Booty 911 will take care of rough, scaly, and yes, even pimple ridden skin on your butt with its powerful mixture of 15% glycolic and lavender!
Booty 911 is so effective that if you use it twice a day, you will see results within a week or so! Glycolic acid aids in cellular turnover and rids your butt of all the dead skin cells that can cause your fanny to breakout! The lavender is also an antiseptic which keeps your skin healthy and bacteria free! And, while Booty 911 is amazing for your ass, you will soon discover that it is equally effective on the back of your arms, your thighs, your back, anywhere you have rough skin, hence, dead skin cells. It does wonders for cellulite.
Now, please do remember, if you end up using it on your face (hint, hint), make sure you use a moisturizer over it so it doesn't cause excessive dryness. If you discover (hint, hint) that when you wake up in the morning after using Booty 911 on your face and you are glowing, work it into your regimen by using it twice a week the first week and only at night since glycolic acid makes your skin sensitive to the sun. Use sunscreen religiously!!!
Seriously, though, this really is great stuff. It's more effective and ALOT nicer to use than Amlactin. It will set you back about $37